I feel like a puppet on a string, so afraid that someone will cut my life-lines and I will crumple to the ground. It is difficult to do the simple task of standing. I feel as if my legs no longer have the strength to hold up my body.
I used to sleep like a baby. As a teenager I could go all night and sleep all day and even without proper sleep I would still continue to go because, as teenagers, that's what you do - party till you drop then get up and go again. It's strangly amusing that as an adult we continue to do the same only it's no longer partying, it's living, it's mothering, it's working and existing.
I can no longer survive on 5 hours a night. I usually wake up just as tired as when I went to bed. My life has become a routine of sleepless nights.
A friend said "I don't know how you function!" For the 1st. time I admitted, out loud, that I am not functioning, that most days I am only existing in a body that struggles to hold me up.
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