The strength of my friends

Today, while driving down the highway with music blaring (something I like to do when I am alone or maybe it’s a way for me to be alone) I started thinking about my friends and I realized that very strong women surround me. In my minds eye I looked at each one and I could see where their strengths lie, they are an amazing group of women. Within the inner circle of friendship we range in age from 31 to 46 but as we go outside the circle the age range expands from 3 to 73. We are daughters, sisters, mothers, wives, friends. We learn from our mothers how to be strong and as we go through the life cycle we pass that along right down to our own daughters and if we are all lucky we will continue on to our daughter’s daughters.

Everyday we are faced with new issues, new problems and somehow we adapt, we grow, we become stronger for having dealt with what life throws our way. The strength of my friends is a constant amazement to me, not that I don’t believe they possess such strength but that they continue no matter how painful, sad, or difficult their problems maybe. Within my circle of friends there is impending death, marriage break up – single parenting, past indiscretions, health issues, job loss, new life in a new city and the list goes on and on and through it all we learn how to deal…. And besides all our own problems we take on the weight of the world, we fight for the little child who cannot fight for him or herself, we lookout for the underdog.
We empower each other – my friends are my greatest support. They let me know I am never alone; they will always be there when times are tough and for when I need a shoulder. We bare the weight of our convictions and every so often when we find ourselves questioning our ability to do right over wrong or our ability to see right from wrong we are never left alone – someone is always there with an outstretched hand.

Like the Helen Reddy song, “ I Am Woman” --- ‘if I have to I can do anything, I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman. You can bend but never break me cause it only serves to make me more determined to achieve my final goal, and I come back even stronger…’

We continue through pain and sorrow, we pick ourselves up and move on, we learn, we live, we teach, we support, we love and we become stronger!

It's snowing!!!

Sunday Nov. 13, 2005 - heading to Bristol (Canada

Question of the day...

...How do you get a 14 year old to do his homework?

I am what I am

- wife
- mother of 3
- daughter
- sister
- friend
- volunteer
- worker
- 44
- exhausted

What I like:
- summer, spring
- chocolate
- sad movies
- thought provoking songs
- sad songs
- bedtime with my kids
- spending time with my friends
- time away (me time)
- shopping
- driving
- photography
- defending the underdog
- working with kids (most days)
- being a mother (loved being pregnant)
- getting crazy with Kris and whoever else we are fortunate to be spending our crazy time with
- forget-me-nots
- bicycling
- relaxing
- being alone
- being a woman
- helping people
- that I quit smoking 18 years ago

What I dislike:
- my friends smoking because of the health issues
- winter (being cold)
- bullies
- small talk
- making conversation with strangers
- lies
- people getting the wrong idea and not taking the time to ask the right questions (never assume)
- being unable to control certain situations
- loosing my temper
- my lack of tolerance
- being lonely
- growing old
- being taken advantage of

What makes me uncomfortable:
- confrontation
- room full of people I don't know
- being the center of attention
- public speaking
- compliments

Happy Birthday

Happy 35th.

Today my friend Kris turns 35. Even though I have 10 years on her, she believes she is the smarter and wiser one. HA! There is a lot to be said for 'life experience' though.
She certainly has a better take on life - 'smile, be happy, start your day believing it is going to be a good one'. blah, blah, blah. LOL! There is a certain amount of teasing about her 'rose-coloured glasses' but in all honesty her opinion of life and how to live it is a much healthier one than mine.
I've invited her out to lunch at the local Café. What she doesn't know is that a few others are going to be joining us. SURPRISE! Not only that, we're going to do a little decorating with some balloons while we have her out of the house, all with the ok of her hubby, of course. We promised not to toilet paper the trees although that would have been so much fun.

Friendship

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like crawling out of your skin, like the last place you want to be is where you are and just for a little while you would love to walk away from all your troubles? When really what you need is a kind word, a shoulder to lean on, the understanding of a close friend and hey, a hug would feel really good. It is so good to know you have a safe zone, someone who accepts you for who you are and loves you unconditionally.

Recently I had one of those days. And I had that shoulder to lean on. It was a particularly bad day, which just seemed to get worse as the day went on. My ‘runaway’ place was to a parent meeting. Now I know what you are thinking, she’s running away to a meeting – how sad - but this meeting was filled with my friends. And who should I meet as I walked down the hall but my ‘safe zone’. To see this face you could not remain in a bad mood because there is always a smile upon it. (Although, I have seen it lately when the smile is not so brave, not so self-assured but I was given the chance to realize how truly blessed I am to have this relationship because she has trusted me to share my shoulder. But that is not my story to tell). She was not going to allow me to continue feeling the way I did, immediately I was greeted with an out stretched arm and a warm loving hug. The moment we entered that meeting everyone knew what they were in for. They threatened to not let us sit beside each other because when we are on our game the laugh meter just can’t keep up. Needless to say, no one was having a bad day by the end of the meeting and as much as they swore we would never be allowed to sit beside each other at another meeting we knew they didn’t really mean it.

After the meeting I still needed to unload and she was there with her usual understanding and acceptance. With the listening came great advice and the reassurance that I need never to feel alone. And at the end of it all she reminded me how laughter can make a difference, it doesn’t solve the problems and pain but it goes along way to making it easier to cope.

Friendship is something of true value, something that is not to be taken lightly. It is give and take, and when you get to the point where you let yourself appreciate the value of friendship you know that you can take without guilt because you know that you will get your chance to give.

My friends keep me grounded and happy. They allow me to be myself, no matter what (don’t worry, they let me know when I have gone too far) and they give me the ways and means to cope with what life has to throw my way. But one of the best things about friendship is trust. It’s a two-way street of giving and taking and my friends give me the opportunity to be their ‘safe zone’.

Always remember to laugh.
Kris, thanks for teaching me the value of laughter.

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes.
It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.
Erma Bombeck