I was trying to get some of my volunteer work done but I can't even hear myself think. Back to that 'place of my own'. It is impossible to get work done when the computer is in the same room that everyone lives in, watches t.v. in, plays video games in....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Tonight it is the Junos they are watching and the husband, insists on cranking the volume when certain bands are performing. Cheaper yet, a lap top would be nice, I could work anywhere. I could even leave the house, if need be. My head is full of noise and it is impossible to concentrate so I have obviously given up any attempt at getting work done, at least till they are all gone to bed.
Picture it, t.v at almost full volume (surround sound, no less), children arguing, dog barking, everyone shouting because they can't hear each other over the noise of the t.v and themselves...
tomorrow, I will try again tomorrow when my husband is at a meeting and the kids are all in school. But I am on a tight deadline with a meeting tomorrow night...it will all get done - it has to - amid all the kaos. Shit!
I dream - I am sitting on the beach at the cottage, alone, the only noise is the sound of nature...water lapping on the shore, the soulful loon...just me and my laptop and of course my mp3. The theme from the movie "Unfaithful" is playing softly in my head. Could it get any better!
I had a conversation with my friend Kris the other day about having 'done my time in the trenches', it is so time for me now or at least time for me to be able to leave home periodically without everything falling apart. Although my kids aren't fully grown - 14, 10 & 8, they are capable of being on their own with Dad for a certain amount of time, because we all know what happens when Dad is minding the kids - he is doing his thing and hopefully the kids remember to check in because Dad sometimes forgets who is in charge. Right! We've all been there.
We've been wanting to organize a 'girlfriends weekend' but as much as we all need it our families and commitments all seem to come before our own sanity. We manage to get together every so often for a quick lunch but we usually have to rush through our food because there is somewhere else we have to be or work to be done. Just one day without having to look after anyone other than ourselves...my friends are all busy working mothers, no one gets proper time for herself but in this crazy world with more and more demands being put upon us we are all feeling the pressure, we so want and need time to relax but it never seems to come - atleast not for an adequate amount of time. And for that small amount of time we do get for ourselves who isn't feeling guilty that she should be doing something besides enjoying time for herself!?
We're all feeling the exhaustion. We're all trying to add more time to our days. We're all pushing ourselves to complete what needs to be done NOW! If only we would/could slow down before we are forced to. Burnout, comes to mind as the least of our worries. Everywhere we turn, everything we read, everyone we meet there are stories of sickness and even death.
That weekend away sounds really good. Keep you posted on whether it happens or not.
And the noise pollution - everyone is gone to bed. There is absolute silence except for my music.
The work - it will keep until tomorrow, I am going to sit and enjoy the silence before turning in for the night.
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