Thursday, June 05, 2008

She said, "I don't feel like myself anymore"


It was easier to stay away and make excuses for staying away than to try and understand, or so I told myself. It broke my heart to see her sitting on the bed feeling so ashamed and broken, incapable of making people understand how it feels to be so totally out of control and outside of yourself. She said “I feel different. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“I was in a fog. I could see myself cutting my wrists but it wasn’t me. I didn’t feel anything.” She said she could hear her husband trying to break down the door but he sounded so far away.

We sit in our little worlds completely ignorant of the problems that people live with every day. We feel safe and secure. We need to take a step outside our safe circle every once in awhile and see how bad it is for other people and to realize that those other people are just like us…they are our neighbours, strangers on the street, our friends and they are trying to survive anyway they can. For whatever reason, it is them and not us and we need to have compassion and understanding but our ignorance keeps us at arm’s length and we look at these people and think they are their own worst enemies, they brought their pain and suffering upon themselves. It’s easier to judge than to get too close.

In the end, I am so glad I took that step outside of my comfort-zone. I did not change her circumstances but for a brief moment in time I do know that I took her outside the walls of where ever she is now...

...I saw her, she's still who she once was, still the same person she was 3 months ago, she just has to find herself again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good for you for being there for her. I hope she is able to make a full recovery and finds herself.