School's out

It's been a crazy week, actually it's been a crazy year but the last week of school seemed to be a fitting end to a very busy year.
Monday was our last 'Mom's breakfast' - we meet every Monday morning for breakfast after dropping the kids at school, our time to relax before starting our week. This is a few hours we all look forward to. After breakfast it was off to the school for the 'volunteer appreciation tea' held by the teachers of McDowell to thank all their volunteers.
Tuesday was the grade 5 and 6 annual 36K. bike ride to Wyman via the old railway bed. Ben asked me to go along so how could I refuse. Actually, I was tossing it around in my mind before he asked but since he is the child that demands the least amount of attention I was glad to go along. Ben's friend Matt persuaded his Mom, Kris, to go along too. We had a great time. Kris did a lot of complaining about her sore ass on the ride home. I do a lot more biking than she does so I was ok. I had been trying to get her out biking all spring, bet she wishes she had gotten a little more seat-time in. Her seat problem was good for a few days of laughter.
Wed., officially the first day of summer, was pretty quiet except for soccer. Alex wrote his last exam yesterday so it was off to the camp with Dad and Grandpa for a day of fishing (not back till tomorrow). I was looking forward to them going to the camp, things are always more relaxed when they are gone, two less to look after - meals don't have to be exactly on time....junk food time.
Thursday Ben and I were off to Mont Cascade for the class trip. Got some sun. Ben and his friends had a great time splashing down the water slides. I had a great time, always fun spending time with the school kids outside of school. Well, it was a good day except for when I dropped my Nikon D70s...there was a collective sigh from all the parents in the group because they know my camera goes everywhere with me. I was afraid to look at it. I was afraid it was toast. Not even a year old yet and the first thing that ran through my mind was that I don't have the money to replace it but can't live without it. If you ever have to decide whether or not to purchase a seemingly needless UV filter...GO FOR IT! I have had one on each of my cameras just as a safety cover to protect the lens...boy, talk about cheap insurance...that is all that was broken. Luckily my camera landed on the edge of the filter, the camera still works as good as usual...I was so lucky.
The day ended with a get-together at Wendy's for the Home and School. A few drinks, tasty snacks, a bit of foolishness in the pool, and wonderful friends - what a great way to let off steam after another busy and successful year of fundraising for our children's school. Yeah, sure, I started the water fight...but who got drenched? Always remember, pay back is a bitch! Look-out!
Friday - the last day of school - started with year-end awards handed out at school. Then it was off to the Café for a few mothers for our last lunch - you know, before the kids are out of school for the year....end of our freedom. Kris always has a last day of school pool party which has become a tradition that has followed her from Aylmer. Our kids now look forward to it....swimming, lots of food and drinks...time to let loose one more time with friends before parting for the summer. My kids are lucky, at least the two younger ones, their friends mostly all live in town so they can see them all summer but some kids go the whole summer hardly seeing friends so for some it is hard to say good-bye. I was one of those kids, I lived in the country and had to wait till the fall to see my friends again. Party started at 3 and ended at 8, the kids were becoming water logged by the time we finally hauled the last one out of the pool. If we could get the kids home and settled in there was still time for Me-time at the Café for some much deserved dessert. I spend most of my waking time with kids, either my own or at the school or now that summer is here, with half the kids in the neighborhood - Me-time is valuable...even if it means having a 1/2 hour at the end of the day for a walk or bike ride or dessert at the Café. I have become very aware of my need for downtime. I love my family but, we all need some time away to regenerate.
Not over yet, Saturday was soccer-day which meant spending most of the day at the soccer field, starting at 7:45. As much as I enjoy watching the kids play and as much as they enjoy playing it was time for it to be all over...we are all exhausted and tired of running here and there. The summer means doing what we want, when we want to. It means no routine, no schedules just taking life day by day. The lazy days of summer! Means spending time at the cottage with family and friends. Movie matinees. Bring it on! I am ready! After some much needed rest, that is.
.

Some birthdays are not so bad!

Happy Birthday to me! Today, June 14, I turned 39 (again) - ok, so I turned 45 but I feel 39 and it's my birthday so I get to be as young as I want.
Usually I don't look forward to birthdays. I am at the point in my life where I would just as soon forget about my birthday...except for this year - for whatever reason, not that I was looking forward to it but it just didn't bother me. I really enjoyed this birthday and I have one person to thank...Kris - well, a few people, but Kris is the force behind it all. My birthday actually started on June 4th. when I was surprised with a birthday brunch at Café 349. Kris had asked me the day before if I wanted to go grocery shopping in Renfrew, sure I needed groceries and it is much more fun to go with Kris than to go alone. She said to be ready for 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. So I am up and ready and totally non-suspecting. First before leaving town she informs me we have to stop at the Café to take some photos for her realtor husband. Naturally I was curious why she needed to take these photos so I asked why, she gave me some lame reason and didn't think nothing more of it. I even went in with her, just to hang out and say "HI" to everyone working. As soon as I stepped in Ruth and the staff shouted 'Happy Birthday', I hardly believed it was meant for me, I almost turned around to see who came in behind me...she got me good!
So having had my birthday surprise I was totally not expecting another one today. This morning I met with Kris and a friend of ours to go over details to develope her (the friend) portfolio and website. We had earlier discussed meeting for lunch after I was done with my noon duties at the school, something about Kris being busy and not being able to make it till after I was done working, that's common. I was starved and could hardly wait, my mouth was watering thinking about the ceasar salad with grilled chicken I was going to order. Since I was heading to the Café I asked Viv, another friend that I work with, if she wanted to join us - sure she felt like a cup of coffee. We walked in and the staff, knowing it was my birthday, wished me a happy birthday.
The Café is our local great spot to eat and get the most delicious desserts. And as an added bonus Ruth, the owner, has become a fast friend and we (Kris, Viv and I) are friends with the staff - our kids are all friends, we are on committees together, we party together, we have monday breakfast together - you get the picture...we're friends.
Anyway, innocently I walked in and after the birthday wishes I ask if Kris and Terri have arrived yet, both are usually a little late, (yeah, yeah, I know - never late). I am told no, they haven't arrived yet so I continue to enter the Café and am headed to the counter when I happened to take a look to my left, to see how full the new restaurant part is, and there, to my total surprise, AGAIN, is a birthday party for me - complete with balloons. Kris sitting front and center, happy as all get-out because she has gotten my again. Ok, I have to agree - you're good!
The day started out good but I had a glitch thrown my way which could have made it totally bad but thanks to Kris and Terri and my wonderful friends who feted me again today, it was the bestest birthday I can remember since being a kid.

I have surrouned myself with great friends -
I am lucky.
I am blessed.
I am happy.
I am thankful for your friendship.

Thanks Kris, I am so blessed to have you in my life.
You are grace, you are kindness, you are my friend!
Hugs!

Friendship is a serious affection;
the most sublime of all affections,
because it is founded on principle,
and cemented by time.
(this verse was in the card Terri made for me today)

And except for the glitch, which involed #1 son, the rest of the my day was pretty perfect. Birthday supper at my Mom's with my twin brother and my family. This birthday was good, this birthday I enjoyed, this birthday I will remember for a very long time.

Is it real?!

The phone rings, "Hi, this is Gail. I don't want to get anyone in trouble but does Ben, not your Ben but Ben S. have a gun outside?" Yes, we live in gun country, purely recreational and not appreciated by yours truly but boys will be boys and then they grow into men who think hunting is a sport.

Thanksfully I knew that
1. the real guns are securely, secretly locked away
2. while just 2 seconds before having checked the comings and goings of Ben and his friends I had seen one of the kids with a toy gun - complete with a scope that does make it look all that more real and frightening.
3. a yardful of boys will find some kind of mischief to get into - although completely harmless - this time.

My neighbour had seen Ben S. in the backyard pointing what looked like a real gun in her direction. She called to find out, hopefully, that it wasn't real and then to explain that she was not a crazy woman for shouting at some rather innocent kids.

Knowing full well what kids can get up to I said she hadn't over-reacted and thanked her for being responsible to call and alert me - in case I was not already aware - and we all know that we really don't have eyes in the back of our heads (but don't ever tell your kids that). Afterall, it wasn't that many years ago that #1 son and his friends shot another neighbour, in the thigh, with a pellet gun. Needless to say, Dad and #1 son got an earful for quite a few days. That was one time when I was compeletly oblivious to what the kids were up to...that is until the neighbour ran into our house and pulled down his pants to show me the red spot on his leg...but that's a story for another time.

Boys and their toys...yes, Kris, Matt was playing with one as well. OH, maybe you didn't want to know that, sorry.

Bleeding Heart

1st time job

Son #1 recently started his very first paying job, cutting Nannie's grass really doesn't count - especially when he only manages to cut it two or three times a season.

Last Thursday was his first day on the job. I have been after him for a couple of weeks to go see Ruth at Café 349. He has worked a couple of times for her within the past year taking out the recycling and it's not like he doesn't know everyone there, they are all my friends and the kids and I practically live there...it's so great to have a non-smoking place wtih great eats.

Saturday evening he worked 4 - 10, there was an anniversary party booked. He was so excited he was gone by 3:30 - we live 5 min. away (walking distance). Shortly after 10 p.m. he called for a ride home, "Mom, we're almost done. Come and get me." As I was stopped at a red light (at our only set of traffic lights - two steps from the Café) he came out of the Café, complete with the biggest grin I have ever seen. He walked down the street like he owned the whole town. I don't know who was more proud of him, me or himself. Turns out the dinner was for our neighbors and half the people he knew. The biggest hit of the night was his $20. tip.

The first job - so exciting. I was pretty sure he would be able to get a job with Ruth. I am so glad he is working there, Ruth is good people. Plus since everyone is a friend I know for sure he is in good hands and everyone will keep an eye on him. He's a good kid. A complete pain in the ass but what 14 year old isn't.

Recently I was away from home at the QFHSA AGM in Montreal. Part way there we made a pit stop at the Hudson Tim Horton's for coffee and snacks to tide us over till our scheduled dinner at the Dorval Hilton. I took the time to call home to see how everyone was doing. Alex, #1 son, answered the phone. I almost asked who I was talking to. I couldn't believe how mature he sounded. When I got off the phone I commented to my travel partners that my little boy was became a man and that he was doing it without me noticing, right under my eyes. He has a man voice. Yesterday I noticed he has very noticable hair on his legs. WOW! Guess I had better start keeping track of the changes.

I take the pictures...

...but sometimes not always exactly as I envisioned. I have a friend, for all intents and purposes, we'll call her....oh, I don't know - Kris. Kris has an eye, she has a way of seeing things that I would never have thought of...although the more I see through her eyes I am beginning to see differently through the lens.

I love taking photos, now more than ever before, since puchasing my Nikon D70s last July. I have taken well over 13,000 photos with my Nikon - sadly, my trusty compact flash card finally succummed to exhaustion. Most of those 13,000 photos will never go farther than my hard drive but each one is apart of a great experience. Each one is responsible for taking me a step closer to learning this art. I am completely self-taught, although I would love to have the time and money to be able to learn from a professional. There is only so much you can teach yourself when you start out knowing absolutely nothing about the subject and there is never an end to learning.

Didn't buy my first camers until I was 30 years old, a Minolta 35m when my first child was born but it's only been the last couple of years that I started taking pictures of more than my children and family. Apart from my children, I really don't enjoy taking photos of people. I much prefer scenery - flowers in particular. Not being too self-assured I find taking photos of people too stressful - flowers and scenery will never tell me I am doing it all wrong.

Recently I sold a photo, what a weird feeling - actually selling something. Does this mean I am an artist? Recently I was called an artist by an artist that I know and respect, I looked at that person and thought WOW, coming from you that means something. Knowing this person as I do, I realize that she sees I am doing something i have a passion for. It's going to take me some time to realize that I could be an artist. For now I will continue to take the pictures and continue to see how different things are through the lens.

Although, seeing is starting to become a problem. I have always been blessed with 20/20 vision. Seems the aging process does not give a damn about my passion. I have noticed within the past few months that my arms don't seem to be long enough, much to the amusement of my friends. I finally broke down and went for an eye exam about a month and a half ago. I was told I still had 'youthful eyes' and it was recommened that I not get glasses at that time but that very shortly I would be back. Well, I believe the time has come, quicker than I wanted it to. For normal, day to day stuff I could go a long time without glasses, really just need them for reading - most days, and I say most days because I have come to realize that I am having a problem with focusing - as in with my camera lens...hmmmmm, hard to take a decent photo when what you see as clear really isn't so clear.

Mayflower
- Johnson's Lake near Ladysmith, Quebec
Sunday, May 21, 2006

Spent the day at the family cottage. It was so friggin cold, felt more like fall than spring.
With the weather we've been having it's hard to tell that summer is almost here - rain, cold, more rain and more cold. Sarah wanted to take her bathing suit today, I envisioned icicles hanging from her body. Last year at this time the kids had been swimming in Kris' new pool for a couple of weeks...yes, the water was cold but the outside temp was warm. Tryin to work on a tan, not having too much luck - maybe I should be working on a tan in a can.

Like so many others, I did not know her, but her death has touched me.
I just happened upon her blog yesterday, too late it seems.

Her name was Jessica, she was 33

"Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose to do with them is up to you."
- from Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

Sometimes I think I have not chosen wisely. Sometimes I think I could have done better.

Hibiscus

Dinner and a Friend

38 years and counting, more years than most of you have probably been alive but that is how long Gail and I have been friends - since grade 1. Can you imagine! I talk to my kids about the value of friendship - this one is priceless.
There is always a long time between get togethers, sometimes years but the years do not create a distance. I know her family, she knows mine. She went away, the first time, before grade 10. Spent many years in the West. Many years of good and bad. She spent some time back here then went away again. Came home pregnant with her only child, a son, now ready to turn 18. During these 18 years she has been as close as she has ever been but life and family has made get together time difficult.
After talking about it for the better part of 3 years we finally made a date for dinner and stuck with it. Tonight, dinner at Kelsey's in Kanata, minutes became hours and before we knew it we were all caught up on each others life. Kids being the main topic of conversation - the good, the bad, the ugly. She, single mother, living the life I wish I had, me with husband and 3 kids having the life that makes her wonder in years to come if she will feel that she has missed something. She wondered about loneliness when her son leaves home but she is content, she is happy, she is where she wants to be. I marvel at her bravery of being alone raising a son who, by the way, is growing into a wonderful young man - being alone is what I wish for on those days when family life and problems are weighing me down but in all honesty I don't know if I am/will ever be/ or ever has been as brave as she is.
We laughed, we talked and talked and talked...time stood still - we parted making plans to meet again real soon...

It's a good day!

Teachers have a most wonderful job. Imagine being able to mold and shape the young minds of our world. Imagine being given the trust. Imagine the joy in knowing that you are helping little people become better big people. Ok, so it doesn't always work that way, and being someone who works and volunteers daily in our local school system you get to see the good, the bad and the ugly. Lately we, the parents, have become a little jaded by our teachers and the school system - everyone say "work t0 rule!" Yep, that is what we have been dealing with this past school year. There is no joy in our school and what I am hearing from other parents, there is very little joy in most schools these days because of the 'work to rule' issue. I realize we all have the right to fight for our jobs and better conditions but at what cost! Almost all extra activities have been banned, such as the Christmas concert, theme days (we manage to salvage one day - but ONLY one day), winter carnival and so much more fun things that the students have had to give up because our teachers are 'working to rule". I guess you are wondering where I am going with this rant...

...well today I had the opportunity to help a young mind to see her way around the 9 x tables. When we began she was not interested because she was finding her times tables difficult. She was talking and making any excuse to not do the work. With much perseverance I managed to get her settled down enough to show her some tricks around the 9x tables, I showed her 3 different tricks and it was just like a light bulb went off. She got it. I was so proud of her, she was so proud of herself. She almost completely stopped talking except to comment on how she figured each one out without "cheating". She couldn't wait to get back to her classroom to show her teacher.

9 x 1 = 9
9 x 2 = 18
9 x 3 = 27
9 x 4 = 36
9 x 5 = 45
9 x 6 = 54
9 x 7 = 63
9 x 8 = 72
9 x 9 = 81

1. The two numbers added together make 9
2. The first number of the answer goes up numerically and the second number of each answer goes down numerically.
3. But the trick that really got her excited was when she realized that the answer always begins with one number less than the dividing number and that both numbers added together make 9.

We'll work on getting past 10 later, it changes a little but I know she'll catch on just as quick.

I had never seen her so excited and in such a hurry to get her work done. It was no longer a mystery, she had mastered it, she got it. And the look on her face, the pride she was showing was all I needed to make my day. That is what I wish our teachers would all remember when they are taking away the little details to our children's school day...so little can make such a difference to how they feel about themselves and their ability to learn.

Let's all remember there are many ways to teach and many things to teach...why not throw in a little fun.

Tomorrow is our one theme day - P.J. day - and the kids are so excited and as a member of our Home and School committee I am so glad that I could be a part of making that day happen. They deserve it.

It's a good day!

Was feeling kinda shitty...

...but it's wonderful what a walk with friends will do for your mood - shin splints and all.

Burnstown, Ontario

Noise pollution!

I was trying to get some of my volunteer work done but I can't even hear myself think. Back to that 'place of my own'. It is impossible to get work done when the computer is in the same room that everyone lives in, watches t.v. in, plays video games in....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Tonight it is the Junos they are watching and the husband, insists on cranking the volume when certain bands are performing. Cheaper yet, a lap top would be nice, I could work anywhere. I could even leave the house, if need be. My head is full of noise and it is impossible to concentrate so I have obviously given up any attempt at getting work done, at least till they are all gone to bed.

Picture it, t.v at almost full volume (surround sound, no less), children arguing, dog barking, everyone shouting because they can't hear each other over the noise of the t.v and themselves...
tomorrow, I will try again tomorrow when my husband is at a meeting and the kids are all in school. But I am on a tight deadline with a meeting tomorrow night...it will all get done - it has to - amid all the kaos. Shit!

I dream - I am sitting on the beach at the cottage, alone, the only noise is the sound of nature...water lapping on the shore, the soulful loon...just me and my laptop and of course my mp3. The theme from the movie "Unfaithful" is playing softly in my head. Could it get any better!

I had a conversation with my friend Kris the other day about having 'done my time in the trenches', it is so time for me now or at least time for me to be able to leave home periodically without everything falling apart. Although my kids aren't fully grown - 14, 10 & 8, they are capable of being on their own with Dad for a certain amount of time, because we all know what happens when Dad is minding the kids - he is doing his thing and hopefully the kids remember to check in because Dad sometimes forgets who is in charge. Right! We've all been there.

We've been wanting to organize a 'girlfriends weekend' but as much as we all need it our families and commitments all seem to come before our own sanity. We manage to get together every so often for a quick lunch but we usually have to rush through our food because there is somewhere else we have to be or work to be done. Just one day without having to look after anyone other than ourselves...my friends are all busy working mothers, no one gets proper time for herself but in this crazy world with more and more demands being put upon us we are all feeling the pressure, we so want and need time to relax but it never seems to come - atleast not for an adequate amount of time. And for that small amount of time we do get for ourselves who isn't feeling guilty that she should be doing something besides enjoying time for herself!?

We're all feeling the exhaustion. We're all trying to add more time to our days. We're all pushing ourselves to complete what needs to be done NOW! If only we would/could slow down before we are forced to. Burnout, comes to mind as the least of our worries. Everywhere we turn, everything we read, everyone we meet there are stories of sickness and even death.

That weekend away sounds really good. Keep you posted on whether it happens or not.

And the noise pollution - everyone is gone to bed. There is absolute silence except for my music.

The work - it will keep until tomorrow, I am going to sit and enjoy the silence before turning in for the night.

Finally - spring is here

And it's about time, too. We took our first official drive of spring yesterday. We didn't do the Wes' chip stand in Arnprior, which is a spring tradition (we'll get to it), but we did go to Arnprior along the River Road. It's such a great drive, along the Ottawa River. Spotted Lora's house from the Ontario side, hard to see after all the leaves open up (it's still there).

Took along the Nikon, got a couple of nice shots of Ben and Sarah on the swinging bridge in Renfrew.

The snow is melting, our backyard is an absolute mess, really must plant new grass this spring. Jack has pretty much destroyed what was there. And the kids with their bikes and 4-wheelers have contributed to the lack of green space as well. It's just a brown soupy mess.
You know it's officially spring when the bikes come out of storage. Sarah had hers out last Wed. already, she couldn't wait any longer.

Ahhhh, smell the fresh air, ok so right now it just smells like rotting dog poop and all the other crap that is uncovered with the melting snow but SRPING IS HERE!, with all it's good and not so good.
Better than winter.

Do you remember?

This is an idea I came across at Genuine

Do you remember...

...skipping rope?
...what it felt like to be a child?
...running through rain puddles?
...your first kiss?
...the first time you held your baby?
...the first time you stood in the rain and let it hit your face?
...your first time?
...the first time you lost someone you loved?
...the first time you laughed till you cried?

We are always so focused on today and tomorrow that we forget about yesterday. Yesterday was before we grew up and became adults, before we had responsibilities, before we became aware of our longevity or that sometimes it's not as long as we would hope for. Yesterday was when we felt the movement of our unborn child and marveled at how truly amazing it was to be apart of such a wonderful experience. Yesterday was when we learned everything that brought us to where we are today!

The big 'C'

The big 'C' has struck again. On Friday a friend said good-bye to her mother after a very long battle with breast cancer. And this morning, while having breakfast with friends, I hear that another one of us has a mother fighting the big 'C', this time it is pancreatic cancer. It's really not a very fair fight, like with most battles there is really only one winner and it's never the won who fights the hardest.