Whose life happened behind this window?

Change...

Change happens!

It doesn't usually come when we are expecting it or even wanting it.
Well, good change does but that is because 'good change' is the kind of change we want to happen, the kind of change we make happen. It's the other kind of change I'm talking about...the kind that hits you when you least expect it and leaves you standing, scratching your head wondering WTF!
I've been watching this change coming for a while wishing it was something other than what it is...hoping it was just a blip but I don't think it's that - it's the real thing!
And because I'm not sure how I feel about it and knowing there is nothing I can do about it this is all I'm saying because it's going to happen whether I like it or not.

Summer fun

My daughter is taking riding lessons and having the time of her life.

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts

Just finished watching "The Bucket List"...what a great story...

"have no fear for givin' in
have no fear for givin' over
you better know that in the end
it's better to say too much
than never to say what you need to say again
say what you need to say"
John Mayer "Say" lyrics

Great friendships can be made in the shortest of time.

Art classes...

Photography, Stained Glass, Silk painting, watercolour, drawing, YAWS - Young Artists Workshop Series, etc..

The Pontiac School of the Arts in Portage-du-Fort, Quebec is offering art courses for all age groups. This is our 4th year with courses running from July 5 to Aug. 8

For more information: info@pontiacschoolofthearts.com

This year we have 3 weeks of YAWS - week 1 is completely full but week 2 and 3 are still excepting registrations. Week 2 is for ages 13-18 and week 3 is for ages 8-12.

Got a new lens..

Just bought this lens, Nikon AF Nikkor 50mm f/1.4 D and I LOVE it. So fast. Don't know if I'll ever use any other lens...did I say I LOVE it!

Below are some results!

I've registered for a photo course on 'exposure' at Henry's next Thursday. Being self-taught I've wished to be able to take a photography course but time doesn't allow for anything long-term, quick and to the point will hopefully give me enough insight to continue on my own.

She said, "I don't feel like myself anymore"

It was easier to stay away and make excuses for staying away than to try and understand, or so I told myself. It broke my heart to see her sitting on the bed feeling so ashamed and broken, incapable of making people understand how it feels to be so totally out of control and outside of yourself. She said “I feel different. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“I was in a fog. I could see myself cutting my wrists but it wasn’t me. I didn’t feel anything.” She said she could hear her husband trying to break down the door but he sounded so far away.

We sit in our little worlds completely ignorant of the problems that people live with every day. We feel safe and secure. We need to take a step outside our safe circle every once in awhile and see how bad it is for other people and to realize that those other people are just like us…they are our neighbours, strangers on the street, our friends and they are trying to survive anyway they can. For whatever reason, it is them and not us and we need to have compassion and understanding but our ignorance keeps us at arm’s length and we look at these people and think they are their own worst enemies, they brought their pain and suffering upon themselves. It’s easier to judge than to get too close.

In the end, I am so glad I took that step outside of my comfort-zone. I did not change her circumstances but for a brief moment in time I do know that I took her outside the walls of where ever she is now...

...I saw her, she's still who she once was, still the same person she was 3 months ago, she just has to find herself again.

I left work a bit early this afternoon to enjoy the wonderful weather. I was all set to go home but when my van reached the highway the steering wheel turned left instead of the usual right. For 2 years I have been saying I am going to visit the Coulonge Chutes in the spring and today was the day I finally made it happen. If you are looking for a family outing this is the place to go. I spent almost 2 hours just taking photos. The water and the mist are spectacular this time of year. The roar is thunderous. The power of the water is just amazing. Go, visit, don't forget your camera and a picnic. It's about an hour and 1/2 drive west of Ottawa.

"Young Warrior"

This is the story of a brave little boy who is fighting for his life. His name is Tayten.
He is now at the Children’s hospital (CHEO) undergoing cancer treatments. He has been in the hospital for the last three weeks and has three more weeks to go before he goes to Toronto
for a bone marrow transplant.
His grandmother created a blog to keep his family and friends up-to-date on Tayten's journey to health.
This "Young Warrior" is in Grade 7 with my son Ben. We first met Tayten before he became sick then one day he wasn't at school anymore. A few weeks later his teacher informed his classmates that he was in CHEO and had recently found out he had leukemia. It's astounding how fast cancer strikes...

Wowsers!

Usually, hearing from a teacher means bad news...but every once in a great while it can mean good news...such was the news of today.
Ben, my middle child, is a bright boy who has driven me crazy this year when it comes to his studying and doing homework. How many times have I heard from his teacher that "if only" he had gotten his homework complete his marks would have been better, that his in-class work is good but he just doesn't complete all assignments. Sometimes leaves 3 or 4 math questions unanswered. WHY? Late handing in projects.
So a short time ago I heard from his teacher one time too many and so I asked for a meeting between the 3 of us. If I had the faintest idea that all we had to do was sit down and lay it on the line - 'Ben, we're both here to help you. We know you can do anything you set your mind to so we're not going to let you fail yourself' - I would have done that at the start of the year. Actually, I don't know what finally clicked but something did. He has completed every project since then, BEFORE their due date. He is doing his homework...yadda, yadda, yadda. I know it doesn't hurt that his teacher is very young and perky and very cute and that she happens to be a cousin of his favorite aunt - whatever....it worked. She emailed me tonight and told me that he has more than passed his 3rd term, in the three subjects she teaches, and is well on his way to passing his 4th - the momentum of this term will hopefully push him through to the end of the year. He was grinning from ear to ear. I told him how proud I am of him and that he should be very proud of himself. He couldn't wait to call a family friend to let her know that he earned 3 'green' marks on his upcoming report card from these three classes with the possibility of 2 more from other classes. "Wowsers!", is a direct quote from his teacher. And kudos to this young teacher...she has gone above and beyond to help him see his full potential. She has not backed down, she has given him every opportunity to shine....if only every child was given this type of understanding and guidance...the world needs more teachers like her.

Bought myself a new lens...Nikon AF-S VR Zoom-Nikkor 70-300mm f/4.5-5.6G IF-ED...


...need I say more, except that while I was at Henry's purchasing the lens I held the Nikon D300 - OH, DEAR...I've got to have it!

Enough with the cold...

3 weeks until SPRING! Can't wait. I've had enough of winter. I am not a skier, snowmobiler or skater...not a winter fan at all - except for a sprinkling of snow for Christmas Eve and Christmas morning I would be happen to never see the white stuff again.

Spring and summer are my preferred seasons. Anything above 40C is what I crave. I need the warmth and brilliance of the sun.

I hate wearing shoes and socks. Love walking bare foot or at least with sandals. As soon as I can each year I toss my shoes and boots aside and expose my toes to the sun. The spring is a time for renewing and regenerating and by this time of the year I most definitely need to do both. It seems more so this year. I have gotten into a rut that I can't seem to get out of. Work is backing up and besides knowing that it has to get done it's really not bothering me all that much. I would love to just walk away from it all and leave it for someone else to pick up the pieces. I committed myself to doing a brochure and two websites for a committee I volunteer for. I have hit a wall, not much in the way of imagination, having a hard time coming up with a starting point. The brochure and one website need to be completely overhauled and redesigned But, knowing that I committed myself and not being the type of person who would be happy letting someone else step in and finish something I couldn't I will push on (I'm not a quitter and much to vain to be regarded as one), I will somehow get it together...possibly with the help of spring and all the good it brings with it...that seems like an awful lot to leave to a season but...I am hoping for anything that will get me out of my rut.

Watching a child grow...

I just told my 16 year old, for the umpteenth time, that he should get a job...and as I am saying it I get a flashback to my little boy and how he is disappearing before my eyes. He is growing into a young man that I am seeing less and less of and I realize that when he does get a job he will be away from home that much more often. It sucks that they have to grow up and move away. He's walking out the door and I am thinking about the day he walks out the door for good.
My son is probably a typical teenager, a product of our times - he has everything we can afford to give him and sometimes more. He and his father are big into 4-wheelers and snowmobiles. Alex got his first 4-wheeler as a 1 year old for Christmas, it was a battery powered one that he learned to drive in our living room by bouncing it off the furniture...he quickly learned how to stop and how to turn it. He has gone onto various sizes of machines, growing along with them. He got his 4-wheeling licence at 14, just got his temporary drivers licence and his snowmobile licence. We figure if he has the machines he might as well be able to drive them, legally, but he thinks having his licence implies that he can drive whenever he wishes - which is pretty well all the time. His friends all have bikes and snowmobiles as well so they are always heading out somewhere. I love that my son has lots of friends and that they are active and having fun, being kids - teenagers - and that they are doing these sorts of things instead of getting into trouble. They hang out at each other's homes watching movies or playing video games, drinking the occasional beer...teenage stuff.

The bottom line is that we can not continue to finance his lifestyle. If he wants to go 4-wheeling and snowmobiling and eating occasionally at the restaurant then he needs to get a job, he needs to make his own money so he can make his own way in life and making his own way in life means eventually leaving home.

I saw my little boy today...the little boy he was at 3 or 5 or 8...not the young man he is becoming, I miss seeing my little boy.

Happy New Year...

Wherever the road may take you, go with peace, happiness and health!

Another year has come and almost gone. This was a good year. I got a new job, one I really really enjoy, one that has the potential to be more. My family is healthy. My friends are healthy. My children are growing into wonderful little people. They challenge me, which is what they are supposed to do, right! We live in a part of the world where we can walk out our door everyday knowing we live in a safe place.

My oldest child goes next week for his temporary drivers licence. I can remember how great it felt when I got mine - the freedom, the independence. My brother (my twin brother) got a car before me - boys tend to do that - but he would always let me borrow it whenever I wanted. It was a boat...I felt like I was floating down the road. It was built like a tank. Along with the freedom and independence also comes the thinking that we are unbreakable...I know my boy thinks that way but I hope he takes slow easy steps and that danger never comes his way.

I don't know what 2008 has in store for any of us but I hope it takes us with gentleness and well being.

Good-bye 2007!
Hello 2008!

Merry Christmas

Sunday we had our annual 'Christmas tree hunt'.
The day begins with a potluck and then off to the tree plantation to get our trees.
Sarah was wondering how many years we had been doing this.
5 years, she was 4.
And over the years some of the faces have changed.
There are 4 families that have been there from year 1 and others that
joined later and continue to be there. Some we continue to miss and wait for their return.
This year Alex (16) tried to be the tough guy and said he wasn't going. This is now a family tradition, every year we look forward to spending this day with our friends - our family.
So there was no way he was stay home, and besides,
I know he enjoys this day as much as the rest of us.
There is always someone that starts the snowball fight. Kris!?
The kids roll and play in the snow and these year we have lots of it.
It was a beautiful day, too. Not too cold. We remembered other years that were so cold we didn't venture too far into the bush and we weren't too picky with our trees, get in and get out.
The first couple of years we went to a different place. It was beautiful. Rolling hills, bush trail, wide open spaces. The first year there we walked forever, down through the bush along the trail and out into the open fields and way across to the farthest hilltop.
It was wonderful to look back to where we had come from and see the lay of the land. It wasn't so wonderful when we had to walk back but with a few complaints and lots of laughs the day became the beginning of a great Christmas tradition.

Merry Christmas!

When you "stop to smell the roses"

How many times have I driven by here and have never seen them before...
why did I see them today?
I am glad I took the time to stop...I'm going back some day with my tripod.One holds the other up. They all keep each other together.

Winter is coming.
Today a cold wind blew.
Giant snow flakes blew in from the north.
The trees are almost bare.
Winter is coming!

Playing in the rain

It was raining yesterday, at times it was just a slow drizzle. My 9 year old daughter was given a new umbrella Friday. Yesterday she asked, "Mom, can I go for a walk in the rain?" Being an adult, who at times has lost sight of her inner child, my first reaction was to say no. But then I thought about it for a second and thought what fun, how great to be a child and to play in the rain. I remember doing that. Don't you? I remember running through the water puddles - bare foot. It was the best of times. I remember driving my bicycle through the puddles, feet off the peddles the water splashing right up to my seat. The bigger the puddle the faster we drove. Walking in the rain, clothes completely soaked.

A few years ago a bunch of us were out 4-wheeling. When we started the day there were a few puddles from a rain shower the night before. We made sure to drive around them. As the day progressed we got caught in a rain storm...it rained so hard we could hardly see, the rain was beating down on us, pelting our faces. I stopped to pour the water out of my digital camera...it's a wonder it ever worked again. Everyone else had a rain suit but I didn't take one because I knew it wasn't going to rain...yeah, right! They all laughed at me when the rain started - I laughed at them when we got back to the camp and they were no dryer than I was.
As we got wetter and wetter we also got colder and colder. We were an hour from our camp. At first we felt so miserable - wet and cold and so far to go. But as the day went on it became fun, why miss the puddles - we couldn't get any wetter - and what we realized was that the water in the puddles was WARM. OMG, you can't imagine how good it felt to feel some sort of warmth so we hit every puddle we could find on our way back. And because of that we were so muddy but no one cared. It was a good day. We went back to the camp, started a fire, dried our clothes or changed into dry ones and hopped back on the bikes when the rain stopped and headed out again. By the end of the day we were cold, dirty and tired but we had so much fun.
So, of course I let Sarah walk in the rain. How could I not.

Nightlife

Spent the afternoon and evening in Ottawa. Met some friends on their way back from a Home and School conference in Montreal. They stayed the night at Les Suites, Viv and I came home. Took the 7 of us an hour of walking around the Market to finally decide where we wanted to eat...our last choice - Lone Star - was one step away from returning to their room at Les Suites and ordering pizza. Everything we do always includes alot of decision making...oh, well, it adds to the mix and flavour of our friendship...that and some well-meaning joking around and making fun of each other...last night we were compared to the "steel magnolias", you know the Julia Roberts movie of the same name.
It's been awhile since we were all together, some of us were missing though. It's good to get together with good friends and just laugh for no reason.

Growing up too fast!

16 years old on Oct. 21...where did the little boy go!
Often time moves along faster than we may be prepared to deal with.

Where did the years go?
Have I prepared you for what is out there?
Will you make all the necessary right decisions?
Will you remain safe and out of harms way?

Please don't take any unnecessary risks.
Be happy.

Love you!