Rambling on...

So, spring arrived, well sort of, I'm a bit hesitant to say it's really here because one day it's hot, the next it's cold and damp and even one night this week we came close to frost. So, as much as I agree with the calendar that spring is here I'm really waiting to feel it. I want to see some sun. I've come to the conclusion that I'm one of those people who NEED the sun to bring me out of the doldrums. It's amazing how the sun can bring out smiles and good moods.

I've not been very good at blogging over the past few months. I've not felt like I had much to say. Life has been happening but I feel like I'm just going along for the ride and not really participating.

I've hit the wall, splat! I'm in a rut...a very deep cavernous rut that I can't seem to make my way out of. I feel like I'm going in all directions and getting no where. Up is where I'm hoping to go but up is difficult because without a rope or a helping hand I just keep slidding back down into the rut.

I'm a photographer, or so I've been told. This is how it is: I have a photography business. I have a photography partner and we do very good work, we do, I'm not just bragging. What's even better is that we work very well together. We're kind of like a comedy team when we really get going and that certainly helps to take the edge off the photo shoot and make people relax and be themselves. I love working with this woman. We met a few years ago and became fast friends.

I've always dabbled in photography since buying my first camera to capture the life of my first born son. Over the years I've gone on to captured 3 children, sometimes to their dislike...you've always got a camera in our face MOM, grumble grumble grumble. So when I needed to take photos of something that wouldn't give me such a hard time I took to the road with my camera in the passenger seat and in doing so I found a 'get away' from life's stresses. Trees, flowers, old houses that used to be someones home but for whatever reasons no longer have a family, fences...you name it, 'still life', quiet life I like to call it. I travel the backroads alone with my thoughts and my camera scouting out something that catches my eye.

So over the years I've accumlated quite a portfolio of images. Images mostly just viewed by me until recently when I've started to share them as in evident by the images on this blog. So here I get back to using the term 'photographer' to describe this part of who I am and my discomfort with that description. I'm completely self-taught, except for having taken a few day courses at a local camera store, and as in all things in life I'm not done learning. My photography partner is an 'educated' photographer, she went to school to learn her craft, she was/is a photojournalist.
I'm not entirely sure why I'm reluctant to call myself a photographer. Is it because I'm self-taught and therefore think I've not learned properly and maybe without the 'formal education' I feel I'm not qualified to be called a photographer?! I'm so comfortable on the road with my camera snapping pics of long dead trees and landscapes, etc., but put me in a room full of people, clients wanting that perfect family photo and I become unsure of my ability. My partner on the other hand is so sure of herself so good at 'looking' the part. I also work for a local newspaper in the layout department but because it's a small, bi-weekly and we don't have a large staff I'm occasionally called upon to cover an event which means - taking photos - which means at work I'm also called a 'photographer'. I've snapped thousands and thousands of images...the count is well over 70,000, I've lost track really.

So, long story short, I don't feel qualified to call myself a photographer but why am I so reluctant?

We welcome spring in 52 days

According to the Ottawa Citizen "Spring's on the way, really" and I can't wait. I like winter Ionly wish it could be warmer and sunnier, I am craving sunshine.

As of yesterday, Jan. 26, 2011, the sun sets later than 5 p.m. for the first time since November and we get more than nine and a half hours of daylight. Currently we're adding two minutes and 22 seconds of daylight each day, and that daily change is accelerating...by Jan 31 we will have gained a full hour of daylight.

Source: the Ottawa Citizen

All this helps to make the long cold days of winter more bearable.

16x20 canvas print - Jacob's Ladder

I want to be able to get out and take more of the above kind of photo, enough snow already - although I love my snow images. I want to feel the warmth of the sun and the singing of the birds.

"Spring's on the way, really!" Bring it on!

It's been a while

Haven't been here for a long time. I suppose I should play 'catch up' but that's gonna have to wait.

One thing I have been busy with, very busy with in fact, has been my photography.

Enjoy -

As you will see I really love winter photography.

“Because we’re friends”

How do you say something that needs to be said without hurting the person that needs to hear it. Or does she need to hear it? Maybe some words are best never voiced.
Does “because we’re friends” make it safe and alright to say whatever we think the other needs to hear even though we know it might hurt them?
“Because we’re friends” isn’t a license to say and do what YOU think the other person can handle, it’s a slippery slope that needs to be carefully walked. Because you need to clear the air doesn’t mean the other person is ready to hear what you have to say in the particular why you say it. And then after you’ve said what it is you just had to say “because we’re friends” you think things are okay but I’m having a difficult time working my way around the words. The words that sounded angry. I’m having a difficult time making my words and thoughts maneuver around the words that want to come out but that I’m trying hard to keep in “because we’re friends”.

Welcome 2010

New computer

I bought a new computer. 20" of pure beauty.

19 years to live...

...is not a very long time.

One of my son's best friends died yesterday. He was only 19. In the local newspaper he is described as a "man" but to this mother - to his mother - and to anyone else who knows him he is still a child.

A child who was just starting his life. A child who went to work not knowing he'd never be home again. A child of a family who never thought they'd have to live out the rest of their days without him. A child friend who leaves behind other children who are too young to understand how this could happen, how this buddy will never be there again. A childhood gone.

I'm sure he thought of himself as a "man", what man doesn't. What boy doesn't wait impatiently for the day that he would be grown up enough to be considered a "man". But he will never grow to be the man his parents born him to be. He will never grow into the man he dreamt he would become.

19 years to live is not long enough!

R.I.P Shawn, we will miss you.

No longer standing alone...

...tonight, along with 6 beautiful ladies that I couldn't do this without, I am no longer alone in my struggle to lose weight and get healthy. We have formed our own support group that will meet once a week to discuss, support and workout. None of us have been truly successful in doing this alone. Together, over the past few years, we have accomplished many things and together we can accomplish this too.

Nothing to say...

It was noted to me recently that it's been a very long time since I last blogged. Well, indeed it has been. I've been busy and I haven't had much to say and it gets worse at this time of year...I get the winter blues.
I am one of those who NEEDS sunshine. I NEED warmth. Winter comes and I just want to keep myself covered and cozied in an attempt to stay warm and forget time until spring comes calling again.
My fingers freeze up in November and thaw out sometime mid April, the same with my toes. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.
I NEED to be living beside the seashore with the warm wind caressing my skin. I NEED to be WARM.
As I drove home from work yesterday I noticed it was still daylight. A month ago, at the same time of day, I drove home in the dark. That could only mean one thing...spring is on it's way. NO, don't tell me it's still 8 weeks away, let me live in my own dreamworld where I can feel the sun getting hotter, the days getting longer and visualize the grass turning green and pushing it's way through the snow. I want to believe every day is one day closer to fresh buds on the trees and fragrant blooms in the garden...snnnnnnnnnnnn, do you smell the lilacs? I do...and that will help get me through my winter blahs and I'll come out of my cocoon happily blinded by the sunshine and ready for a new season, a fresh start to a warmer, brighter day.
Well, maybe I did have something to say...

Happy 11th. Little Girl

It would seem that 11 years would feel like a long time but not when it's the amount of years your "baby girl" has been alive...it's gone by too fast.
One day you were a tiny little baby,needing constant care and supervision and today you are so independent it sometimes scares me.
You were born during 'the ice storm' of '98 and in this, your 11th year, we are in a deep freeze with temperatures of -36C...no wonder you're so strong willed. You have a definite mind of your own. Someday that will serve you well.

"Happy Birthday!"

Heading out to warmer climates...

Quebec from Storyland Road

Happy Thanksgiving

Whose life happened behind this window?

Change...

Change happens!

It doesn't usually come when we are expecting it or even wanting it.
Well, good change does but that is because 'good change' is the kind of change we want to happen, the kind of change we make happen. It's the other kind of change I'm talking about...the kind that hits you when you least expect it and leaves you standing, scratching your head wondering WTF!
I've been watching this change coming for a while wishing it was something other than what it is...hoping it was just a blip but I don't think it's that - it's the real thing!
And because I'm not sure how I feel about it and knowing there is nothing I can do about it this is all I'm saying because it's going to happen whether I like it or not.

Summer fun

My daughter is taking riding lessons and having the time of her life.

Friendship is one of the greatest gifts

Just finished watching "The Bucket List"...what a great story...

"have no fear for givin' in
have no fear for givin' over
you better know that in the end
it's better to say too much
than never to say what you need to say again
say what you need to say"
John Mayer "Say" lyrics

Great friendships can be made in the shortest of time.

Art classes...

Photography, Stained Glass, Silk painting, watercolour, drawing, YAWS - Young Artists Workshop Series, etc..

The Pontiac School of the Arts in Portage-du-Fort, Quebec is offering art courses for all age groups. This is our 4th year with courses running from July 5 to Aug. 8

For more information: info@pontiacschoolofthearts.com

This year we have 3 weeks of YAWS - week 1 is completely full but week 2 and 3 are still excepting registrations. Week 2 is for ages 13-18 and week 3 is for ages 8-12.

Got a new lens..

Just bought this lens, Nikon AF Nikkor 50mm f/1.4 D and I LOVE it. So fast. Don't know if I'll ever use any other lens...did I say I LOVE it!

Below are some results!

I've registered for a photo course on 'exposure' at Henry's next Thursday. Being self-taught I've wished to be able to take a photography course but time doesn't allow for anything long-term, quick and to the point will hopefully give me enough insight to continue on my own.

She said, "I don't feel like myself anymore"

It was easier to stay away and make excuses for staying away than to try and understand, or so I told myself. It broke my heart to see her sitting on the bed feeling so ashamed and broken, incapable of making people understand how it feels to be so totally out of control and outside of yourself. She said “I feel different. I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

“I was in a fog. I could see myself cutting my wrists but it wasn’t me. I didn’t feel anything.” She said she could hear her husband trying to break down the door but he sounded so far away.

We sit in our little worlds completely ignorant of the problems that people live with every day. We feel safe and secure. We need to take a step outside our safe circle every once in awhile and see how bad it is for other people and to realize that those other people are just like us…they are our neighbours, strangers on the street, our friends and they are trying to survive anyway they can. For whatever reason, it is them and not us and we need to have compassion and understanding but our ignorance keeps us at arm’s length and we look at these people and think they are their own worst enemies, they brought their pain and suffering upon themselves. It’s easier to judge than to get too close.

In the end, I am so glad I took that step outside of my comfort-zone. I did not change her circumstances but for a brief moment in time I do know that I took her outside the walls of where ever she is now...

...I saw her, she's still who she once was, still the same person she was 3 months ago, she just has to find herself again.

I left work a bit early this afternoon to enjoy the wonderful weather. I was all set to go home but when my van reached the highway the steering wheel turned left instead of the usual right. For 2 years I have been saying I am going to visit the Coulonge Chutes in the spring and today was the day I finally made it happen. If you are looking for a family outing this is the place to go. I spent almost 2 hours just taking photos. The water and the mist are spectacular this time of year. The roar is thunderous. The power of the water is just amazing. Go, visit, don't forget your camera and a picnic. It's about an hour and 1/2 drive west of Ottawa.